Rob of the Sky’s Guide to Modern-Day Coin Collecting

So it’s my triumphant return to WordPress!  Yay!  Ok, maybe not.  I’m actually going out-of-town tomorrow to meet-up with a girl who I’ve talked to on the internet.  Since I’m going away for the week, I thought it would only be appropriate to talk about modern-day coin collecting.  Ya see, in the past decade or so the government has been printing various special designs for many of its coin denominations, from the 1 cent penny to the 1 dollar coins.  So without further ado, I’m going to talk about the various special designs from the past decade in the order of which they first appeared:

• The 50 State Quarters – I remember when the first state quarters came out.  The kids at my school, including myself, were collecting these new quarters of what few states were out at the time.  It was even more exciting because my state was one of the first five coins available in 1999, which was the first year of the program.  The interesting thing was that coin collecting became popular because of the 50 state quarter program, especially among younger people.  Before the 50 state quarter program, coin collecting was mostly done by older guys with too much time on their hands.  The 50 state quarter program brought the hobby from impotent old guys to just about everyone, even spanning a whole industry of map boards in which to place the quarters.  In fact, there were two things most kids were collecting back in 1999: state quarters and Pokemon cards (of which I could write a whole blog post about in and of itself).  By 2001, most people were collecting neither.  And coin collecting went back to the domain of old guys with too much time and money.
• The Lewis and Clark Nickels – There’s not much to say about this program.  I believe the coins were released to celebrate the 200th year anniversary of Lewis’ and Clark’s famous journey out west.  Now, Journey would be an interesting subject for coins.  Alas, we have to deal with Lewis and Clark instead (not to be confused with Lois and Clark of Superman fame).  This particular series kinda fell under the radar and never really found the success that the 50 state quarter program had.  Nevertheless, there was a nickel in the series that has a buffalo on the tales side that got some attention because it was similar to the buffalo head nickel of yore, which is apparently really popular amongst coin collectors.
• The Presidents Dollar Coins – This series was released to try to capitalize on the popularity of the 50 state quarter program, and to get people to spend dollar coins.  So far, it has failed in both respects.  It has generated some controversy, though.  I first heard of the program via complains that “In God We Trust” was removed from the coins.  Four points related to that: 1) the phrase was placed on the side of the coins 2) Nobody uses dollar coins 3) I don’t think people are thinking of God when they are spending their money on beer, porno, lottery ticket, hookers, or Madonna CD’s and 4) Nobody still uses dollar coins no matter how many times the government tries to introduce them into circulation.  I don’t get it: there’s supposedly not enough money to provide all Americans with affordable healthcare, yet the government keeps printing coins that no one will use.  In fact, the only way I can see dollar coins ever catching on with the general public is when the paper dollar is removed from circulation.  I can’t see Congress banning the paper dollar.  After all, the paper dollar slides so much better down women’s panties than the dollar coins do.  Now, there could be some interest in this series.  If you like an obscure president, like Taylor, Tyler, Van Buren, Harding, or Ford, then you’ll finally be able to see them on a coin.  Of course, the program only covers dead presidents, so Obama won’t be on a coin, which will probably make you either very sad or very happy.
• The Lincoln’s 200th Birthday Pennies – Yes, even the lowly penny get its own program.  Ole Abe Lincoln turned 200 back in 2009, and to celebrate the government is printing up special pennies featuring various scenes from his life.  These pennies don’t seem to be as popular as the 50 state quarter program, even though pennies are extremely common in our money.  I guess it’s because a penny can’t buy anything anymore.  The only thing interesting one can do with a penny besides spend it is get it smashed into a souvenir via one of those pennies crushing machines that you see at every tourist attraction.  What better way to relive the memory of riding the Hulk at Universal Islands of Adventure than by betting a smashed penny with a picture of the hulk and a roller coaster on it.  Well, besides re-riding the Hulk over and over again.  And believe me, any coaster fan will want to ride the Hulk over and over and over again, it’s that good.  Though getting a smashed penny really didn’t help relive the memory of falling off of the Goliath at Six Flags over Georgia.  It seems you can get smashed pennies everywhere.  The Bugspit Museum of Farts probably has a machine that will turn your pennies into a work of art.  Now, I wonder if these new pennies will mess up the designs on the smashed pennies?  I really should try that out one day.

Well, that’s all I have for today.  Until next time, if you’re upset that your dollar coins lack “In God We Trust” on the front of them, you can send them to me.

Rob of the Sky’s Guide to Arguing Politics on the Internets

Hello and welcome to another installment of Rob of the Sky’s WordPress site.  Today’s lesson will be about arguing politics on the internet.  Before the invention of the internet, arguing politics was limited to face-to-face interactions, with the occasional argument over the phone with Uncle Betty.  Family picnics were a breeding ground for political arguments, with everyone offering their opinions while munching on Aunt Jim’s killer burgers, so named not because they were super delicious or anything, but because they killed three people during the 4th of July picnic back in 1978.  With the invention of the internet comes political arguments with complete strangers.  No longer are political discussions limited to family events.  After a while, the political arguments on the internets tend to take a certain form.  So without further ado, I present a list of steps that you can use to argue with the best of ’em on the internet:

1. Choose a side and stick with it. It is rather difficult to argue your opinion about a political subject when you have no opinion.  So pick a position and learn all about it.  There are two main positions: liberal and conservative.  There are sub groups within each side, and you could mix and match the two sides or come up with a completely different side all together, but for the sake of this guide, there are two sides.
2. Start up a political blog, a political discussion on a message board, or write a political email. Once you got your opinions figured out, it is time to spread them to people who may or may not care.  Now, you may be worried that your opinions might not be too well researched.  However, you don’t have to know diddly squat about having reliable information or an informed opinion.  Anonymously written emails, overpaid political pundits, and Wikipedia are perfectly good sources to use when writing blogs, message board discussions, or emails.
3. Say “I agree” to like-minded responders. These are true America-loving patriots who love freedom and puppies.
4. Demonize those with opinions different from your own. These are America-hating terrorists who hate freedom and children.  It is your right, nay your duty, to insult these people who don’t agree with you.  Examples of insults that you can use include socialist, communist, racist, traitor, fascist, enemy lover, freedom hater, ignorant, bigot, and stinky poopy head.  Also, name dropping is a requirement.  There are certain people who you want on your side.  These people include Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, all the founding fathers, Luke Skywalker, and the Doobie Brothers.  People you want the other side to have include Adolph Hitler, Josef Stalin, Richard Nixon, Osama bin Laden, Darth Vader, and the Jonas Brothers.  Remember, it is only appropriate to get personal.
5. Blame the main stream media for spreading the opponent’s opinions. The media hates people who think like you and give the ignorant people on the other side their opinion.  After all, the media has a liberal/conservative bias except for Fox News/MSNBC which are the only unbiased news sources.  The main stream media is the reason why all liberals/conservatives are ignorant about how things work in this country, and why only conservatives/liberals know how this nation works, much like the best president ever, Reagan/FDR.
6. Get people to spread the word. If you are writing an email, ask the people who you send it to forward it to ten people who in turn should forward it to ten people.  If they don’t, the chain will break and no one will know the truth.  If you are on a blog, ask people to link to your blog for maximum exposure.  If you are here on WordPress, become a rec begZ0r.  Whatever, just get the word out.  Again, it is your duty.
7. Rinse and repeat. Keep on spreading your opinions.

With these seven simple tips in mind, it won’t be long until you, yes you, can argue politics with the best of ’em.  So go, spread the word, have fun, and such.  Until next time, remember that the Doobie Brothers > the Jonas Brothers.