Tag Archive: internet

Rob of the Sky’s Guide to Clickbait

Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing alright in bloggy land.  You’ll never believe what happened to me!  Do I have you hooked yet?  Well, you’ll find out what happened to me at the end of the post.  Until then, I’m going to talk about clickbait.  If you’ve ever spent more than five seconds on the internet, you’ve seen headlines that hook you into craptacular articles.  According to the person in charge of the internet, this is called clickbait.  Seems like clickbait has infested Facebook recently with links to crappy sites like Buzzfeed, Upworthy, and Facebook.  It seems like clickbait takes a few forms, like so:

  • You won’t believe what happens next – This seems to be the only way people ever get to Upworthy.  Usually, someone will post an article that starts out with an innocent sentence like “this blind homeless veteran lost his pet dog” followed by those 6 overused words.  You are supposed to click the link to find out the answer, but who the hell cares anymore?  Seriously, does anyone still click on these links?  We all know that the homeless vet is going to find his dog.  The end.
  • Which X are you – This is common on Facebook.  You’ll see links like “which Harry Potter character are you” or “Which Beatle are you” or “Which solar system do you belong in” plastered all over the newsfeed.  Technically, nobody that I’m friends with is any of these things at all.  Most of us are just average joes who don’t have lives interesting enough to ever be part of these quizzes.  Besides, they aren’t really an original idea.  Back when I first did Xanga (back in 2005), people took similar quizzes on some possibly defunct website and posted the results on their Xanga site.  Buzzfeed just ripped it off.  At least people on Xanga these days don’t post Buzzfeed quizzes, but that’s because Xanga is basically a pay site these days anyway with fools who paid $48 a year to do what I’m doing on here and have done on there for many years for free.  Anyway, it’s not like Buzzfeed is all that original anyway…
  • X number of things only y group gets – This is another Buzzfeed thing.  Such titles include “25 things only 90z kidz will understand” or “10 things only cashiers will get” or “68 things only people who attended Idaho Falls High School in Idaho Falls, Idaho will know about”.  The problem is that these lists are usually just pics with a sentence or two about each pic.  They really don’t have much in the way of content or depth.  Not to mention that these lists appeal to an audience that’s either way too broad (like pretty much the 90s kidz one, as one would hope that most people above the age of 20 would remember the 90s) or too narrow (like limited to a certain city or school).  The thing is list sites can have a bit of content and still work, like Cracked.  Also, this site exists too.
  • Group X hates him! – This is probably more spammish than it is clickbait, but I still consider it clickbait.  Usually found on the side of Facebook in the ads, this will be a link that will be like “Economists hate him” or “Doctors hate him” or “Pedophiles hate him” (in the last case, they’re talking about Chris Hansen).  The idea is that someone will have discovered a major, groundbreaking secret to things like making money, losing weight, and beating the Water Temple in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, that will make you life easier and bankrupt those who profit off of what you couldn’t do before.  110% of the time, this is complete crap.  Oh, and the Group X in the bullet point should not be confused with these guys.
  • Has the cure for [insert medical malady] just been found? – No.  No it hasn’t

Well, that’s all I have for now.  Oh, and nothing happened to me.  I just wanted to hook you in so that you’d read my post.  I’m not sorry about that at all.  Anyway, until next time, remember that Buzzfeed hates Rob of the Sky.


Rob of the Sky’s Guide to Working

Hey everyone, I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged.  You may wonder what I’ve done in the time when I wasn’t blogging.  Well, here’s what I’ve been up to: stuff.  Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I do have a bit of news.  Yes, it’s seems that your friendly neighborhood blogger has found a steady job.  Of course, now that I have a job, I have more of a reason why I don’t blog.  Ah, who am I kidding, I never have a good reason why I don’t blog.  Anyway, Now that I have employment, I can write a blog post about having a job.  So I will, as outlined below:

  1. Showing up is the most important thing – This is easy to understand, yet people still don’t do it.  It’s not hard to show up.  It’s not like school where you had to show up with things like homework and term papers and enough gum for the whole class.  In fact, my whole experience has been like so: in elementary school, the teachers gave me a bunch of homework, saying that I would have even more in middle school.  Then I got to middle school and the teachers said that the elementary school teachers were full of it when it came to that amount of homework, yet gave me a bunch of homework anyway, saying that I would be doing more in high school.  Then I got to high school and the teachers said that the middle school teachers were full of it when it came to that amount of homework, yet gave me a bunch of homework anyway, saying that I would be doing more in college.  Then I got to college and the teachers said that the high school teachers were full of it when it came to that amount of homework, yet gave me a bunch of homework anyway, saying that the real world would be much, much harder.  Then I got to the real world and they’re like “you showed up?  Here, have some money”.  So yeah, showing up is very important.  Also, I had to type this twice because WordPress sucks and deleted this and only this paragraph for whatever reason.
  2. Nobody knows what they’re doing – This is a lesson that I’ve learned that applies to pretty much everything in life, but especially to the working world.  It seems like everyone is just faking everything in hope that everything will work out.  Somehow, the world continues despite nobody knowing what they’re doing.  I don’t know how it happens, but it does.
  3. Break times are to be cherished – Confession time: Rob of the Sky isn’t the hardest worker to have ever graced the planet.  Even though I might be what some would consider a slacker, I still long for break time.  Now that I’m thinking about it, I might long for break time because I am a slacker.  Anyway, I like break time because I can surf the internet and not worry about anyone seeing me not work and calling me out on it.  Not that I’ve been called out on not working yet, but that possibility is there.  The best break time is lunch, of which I get an hour.  I don’t need a full hour to eat, so I spend like half of my lunch hour eating and the other half Googling my name.  So yeah, breaks are awesome.
  4. Don’t let the management see you slack off – As I alluded to in the last point, I do sometimes slack off even if it’s not break time.  I’m horrible, I know it.  Anyway, I always gotta keep a eye over my shoulder in case a supervisor walks by and sees me not working.  Yeah, that’s something that wouldn’t end well for me, so I make sure to keep my eye out for supervisors.  Of course, I could avoid being caught not working by actually working, but that’s too much trouble.
  5. Quitting time is the best part of the day – Especially on Friday, since it’s the longest possible amount of time before more work.

So, that’s all I have for now.  Until next time, remember that the only reason why your teacher gives you so much homework is because they hate you.  Peace out.