So it’s my triumphant return to WordPress! Yay! Ok, maybe not. I’m actually going out-of-town tomorrow to meet-up with a girl who I’ve talked to on the internet. Since I’m going away for the week, I thought it would only be appropriate to talk about modern-day coin collecting. Ya see, in the past decade or so the government has been printing various special designs for many of its coin denominations, from the 1 cent penny to the 1 dollar coins. So without further ado, I’m going to talk about the various special designs from the past decade in the order of which they first appeared:
- The 50 State Quarters – I remember when the first state quarters came out. The kids at my school, including myself, were collecting these new quarters of what few states were out at the time. It was even more exciting because my state was one of the first five coins available in 1999, which was the first year of the program. The interesting thing was that coin collecting became popular because of the 50 state quarter program, especially among younger people. Before the 50 state quarter program, coin collecting was mostly done by older guys with too much time on their hands. The 50 state quarter program brought the hobby from impotent old guys to just about everyone, even spanning a whole industry of map boards in which to place the quarters. In fact, there were two things most kids were collecting back in 1999: state quarters and Pokemon cards (of which I could write a whole blog post about in and of itself). By 2001, most people were collecting neither. And coin collecting went back to the domain of old guys with too much time and money.
- The Lewis and Clark Nickels – There’s not much to say about this program. I believe the coins were released to celebrate the 200th year anniversary of Lewis’ and Clark’s famous journey out west. Now, Journey would be an interesting subject for coins. Alas, we have to deal with Lewis and Clark instead (not to be confused with Lois and Clark of Superman fame). This particular series kinda fell under the radar and never really found the success that the 50 state quarter program had. Nevertheless, there was a nickel in the series that has a buffalo on the tales side that got some attention because it was similar to the buffalo head nickel of yore, which is apparently really popular amongst coin collectors.
- The Presidents Dollar Coins – This series was released to try to capitalize on the popularity of the 50 state quarter program, and to get people to spend dollar coins. So far, it has failed in both respects. It has generated some controversy, though. I first heard of the program via complains that “In God We Trust” was removed from the coins. Four points related to that: 1) the phrase was placed on the side of the coins 2) Nobody uses dollar coins 3) I don’t think people are thinking of God when they are spending their money on beer, porno, lottery ticket, hookers, or Madonna CD’s and 4) Nobody still uses dollar coins no matter how many times the government tries to introduce them into circulation. I don’t get it: there’s supposedly not enough money to provide all Americans with affordable healthcare, yet the government keeps printing coins that no one will use. In fact, the only way I can see dollar coins ever catching on with the general public is when the paper dollar is removed from circulation. I can’t see Congress banning the paper dollar. After all, the paper dollar slides so much better down women’s panties than the dollar coins do. Now, there could be some interest in this series. If you like an obscure president, like Taylor, Tyler, Van Buren, Harding, or Ford, then you’ll finally be able to see them on a coin. Of course, the program only covers dead presidents, so Obama won’t be on a coin, which will probably make you either very sad or very happy.
- The Lincoln’s 200th Birthday Pennies – Yes, even the lowly penny get its own program. Ole Abe Lincoln turned 200 back in 2009, and to celebrate the government is printing up special pennies featuring various scenes from his life. These pennies don’t seem to be as popular as the 50 state quarter program, even though pennies are extremely common in our money. I guess it’s because a penny can’t buy anything anymore. The only thing interesting one can do with a penny besides spend it is get it smashed into a souvenir via one of those pennies crushing machines that you see at every tourist attraction. What better way to relive the memory of riding the Hulk at Universal Islands of Adventure than by betting a smashed penny with a picture of the hulk and a roller coaster on it. Well, besides re-riding the Hulk over and over again. And believe me, any coaster fan will want to ride the Hulk over and over and over again, it’s that good. Though getting a smashed penny really didn’t help relive the memory of falling off of the Goliath at Six Flags over Georgia. It seems you can get smashed pennies everywhere. The Bugspit Museum of Farts probably has a machine that will turn your pennies into a work of art. Now, I wonder if these new pennies will mess up the designs on the smashed pennies? I really should try that out one day.
Well, that’s all I have for today. Until next time, if you’re upset that your dollar coins lack “In God We Trust” on the front of them, you can send them to me.
Rob of the Sky's Guide to Crap 