Tag Archive: Obama

So it’s my triumphant return to WordPress!  Yay!  Ok, maybe not.  I’m actually going out-of-town tomorrow to meet-up with a girl who I’ve talked to on the internet.  Since I’m going away for the week, I thought it would only be appropriate to talk about modern-day coin collecting.  Ya see, in the past decade or so the government has been printing various special designs for many of its coin denominations, from the 1 cent penny to the 1 dollar coins.  So without further ado, I’m going to talk about the various special designs from the past decade in the order of which they first appeared:

  • The 50 State Quarters – I remember when the first state quarters came out.  The kids at my school, including myself, were collecting these new quarters of what few states were out at the time.  It was even more exciting because my state was one of the first five coins available in 1999, which was the first year of the program.  The interesting thing was that coin collecting became popular because of the 50 state quarter program, especially among younger people.  Before the 50 state quarter program, coin collecting was mostly done by older guys with too much time on their hands.  The 50 state quarter program brought the hobby from impotent old guys to just about everyone, even spanning a whole industry of map boards in which to place the quarters.  In fact, there were two things most kids were collecting back in 1999: state quarters and Pokemon cards (of which I could write a whole blog post about in and of itself).  By 2001, most people were collecting neither.  And coin collecting went back to the domain of old guys with too much time and money.
  • The Lewis and Clark Nickels – There’s not much to say about this program.  I believe the coins were released to celebrate the 200th year anniversary of Lewis’ and Clark’s famous journey out west.  Now, Journey would be an interesting subject for coins.  Alas, we have to deal with Lewis and Clark instead (not to be confused with Lois and Clark of Superman fame).  This particular series kinda fell under the radar and never really found the success that the 50 state quarter program had.  Nevertheless, there was a nickel in the series that has a buffalo on the tales side that got some attention because it was similar to the buffalo head nickel of yore, which is apparently really popular amongst coin collectors.
  • The Presidents Dollar Coins – This series was released to try to capitalize on the popularity of the 50 state quarter program, and to get people to spend dollar coins.  So far, it has failed in both respects.  It has generated some controversy, though.  I first heard of the program via complains that “In God We Trust” was removed from the coins.  Four points related to that: 1) the phrase was placed on the side of the coins 2) Nobody uses dollar coins 3) I don’t think people are thinking of God when they are spending their money on beer, porno, lottery ticket, hookers, or Madonna CD’s and 4) Nobody still uses dollar coins no matter how many times the government tries to introduce them into circulation.  I don’t get it: there’s supposedly not enough money to provide all Americans with affordable healthcare, yet the government keeps printing coins that no one will use.  In fact, the only way I can see dollar coins ever catching on with the general public is when the paper dollar is removed from circulation.  I can’t see Congress banning the paper dollar.  After all, the paper dollar slides so much better down women’s panties than the dollar coins do.  Now, there could be some interest in this series.  If you like an obscure president, like Taylor, Tyler, Van Buren, Harding, or Ford, then you’ll finally be able to see them on a coin.  Of course, the program only covers dead presidents, so Obama won’t be on a coin, which will probably make you either very sad or very happy.
  • The Lincoln’s 200th Birthday Pennies – Yes, even the lowly penny get its own program.  Ole Abe Lincoln turned 200 back in 2009, and to celebrate the government is printing up special pennies featuring various scenes from his life.  These pennies don’t seem to be as popular as the 50 state quarter program, even though pennies are extremely common in our money.  I guess it’s because a penny can’t buy anything anymore.  The only thing interesting one can do with a penny besides spend it is get it smashed into a souvenir via one of those pennies crushing machines that you see at every tourist attraction.  What better way to relive the memory of riding the Hulk at Universal Islands of Adventure than by betting a smashed penny with a picture of the hulk and a roller coaster on it.  Well, besides re-riding the Hulk over and over again.  And believe me, any coaster fan will want to ride the Hulk over and over and over again, it’s that good.  Though getting a smashed penny really didn’t help relive the memory of falling off of the Goliath at Six Flags over Georgia.  It seems you can get smashed pennies everywhere.  The Bugspit Museum of Farts probably has a machine that will turn your pennies into a work of art.  Now, I wonder if these new pennies will mess up the designs on the smashed pennies?  I really should try that out one day.

Well, that’s all I have for today.  Until next time, if you’re upset that your dollar coins lack “In God We Trust” on the front of them, you can send them to me.

Rob of the Sky’s Guide to Email

In a world where instant messaging is king, one man tries to bring back the rules of a lost art.  Join Rob of the Sky as he brings you the guide to email.  Heh, those previous two sentences could be spoken in a Don LaFontaine voice for maximum effect.  Anyway, there are some rules to email to follow.  These rules are apparently mandatory, or at least it seems that way.  So, without further ado, here are Rob of the Sky’s guide to email!:

  1. Spam is king – Odds are 90% of the emails in your inbox are spam.  The main form of spam are adds for male enhancement pills.  After all, who doesn’t want to en-large their pe-nis.  I mean, you got to keep your wo-man sa-tisfied.  Pills like Vi-agra allow for a couple to spend 4 hours in he-aven.  I don’t know how they came up with the four hour limit, or what happens after four hours.  All I know is that after four hours it’s time to panic.  Anyway, other forms of spamming include phishing.  These are emails that seem to be from legit places like eBay or PayPal, but are not.  These emails ask for your information to keep your account on the website they are claiming to be open.  However, your account was never in jeopardy and the people who sent you the email are now using the credit card number you sent them to buy pills to en-large their pe-nis.  True story, I once received an email saying that my PayPal account was going to be deactivated if I didn’t give them my information involved with the account.  The irony is that I’ve never had a PayPal account in my life.  I didn’t really care that my non-existent PayPal account was deleted.  Finally, I can’t talk about spam and not talk about the Nigerian scams.  All you have to do is send some guy you’ve never met a bunch of money, and he’ll send you even more money.  For some reason, Nigeria is a haven for spammers.  I don’t know why either.
  2. Thou shalt forward crap – Too many emails have titles like “fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:re:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:re:fwd:re:fwd:pic of miracle”.  Many emails beg you to forward the crap to all your friends, or the friends you would have if you weren’t forwarding crap to everyone.  The first type of email that begs you to forward it to all your friends is the email that says Bill Gates will give you money if your forward the message to all your friends.  Now, I don’t personally know Bill Gates, but I figure that he doesn’t want to give me money for merely forwarding an email message.  The second type of email message that begs you to forward is the “for every forward Wal-Mart will donate 5 cents to funding a little boy’s cancer operation” email.  After all, who would be a heartless bastard and deny the dying little boy money for his needed cancer treatment?  Me.  I am that heartless bastard who deletes those emails.  Why do I delete these messages instead of forwarding them?  Simple, because that little boy dying of cancer doesn’t exist.  All those emails about forwarding an email message to pay for a little kid’s operation are nothing more than hoaxes.  The third type of email that begs you to forward are online petitions.  To put simply, online petitions don’t work.  And sending a forwarded email to the president get him to lower gas prices doesn’t work either.
  3. Hyperbole is your friend – Hyperbole tends to come into play when political emails are sent.  Why have a rational discussion about healthcare reform when “OMG OBAMA’S GONNA KILL YOUR GRANDMOTHER WITH AN AXE AND EAT HER CORPSE BECAUSE HEATH CARE REFORM PASSED!!!!111!!1!!!  FORWARD THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!1111!!!  BUY MORE GUNS SO THAT OBAMA DOESNT TAKE THEM AWAY!!!!111!!!!!11!” is much more effective at getting people passionate about the topic.  Granted, they might not be entirely knowledgable about the subject, and maybe they haven’t heard of sites such as Snopes or Factcheck which are dedicated to debunking these emails, but that’s not all that important.  What is important is getting people pissed off at the current state of Western civilization, even if they don’t know what they are pissed off about.
  4. Every once in a while you may write a personal email to a friend – there are a few rules to writing these emails. dont use capital letters. dont use certain punctuation marks such as apostrophes. use a single space after sentences. sentence fragments. and dont forget to hae a kickass tagline. thats the most important part.

So yeah, those are the rules to email.  Follow them, and you win the internets.  Until next time, remember that fire and gasoline do not mix very well.