One of the most apparent part of our society is commercials.  It seems like commercials are everywhere.  On television, billboards, buses, movie theaters, ballparks, and even teh internets, one can find commercials advertising for unnecessary crap to spend our disposable income.  Like most people, I am annoyed by the constant bombardment of advertisement that plagues our society.  I dream of a day where I can watch t.v. without commercials.  Unfortunately, I’m not rich enough to afford TIVO or channels like HBO, and am not sophisticated enough to enjoy PBS, so I’m stuck with commercials.  The annoying thing about commercials is that they are loud and repetitive.  They also tend to be similar to one another and high in sound volume.  The most annoying commercials are the ones that try to sell some miracle new household product in a obnoxiously loud voice, like so:

ARE YOU CURRENTLY ON FIRE?  WHY, YOU ARE JUST IN LUCK AS MIRACLE PRODUCT INC. HAS INTRODUCED A NEW PRODUCT CALL DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE.  DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS INCREDIBLY EASY TO USE.  JUST OPEN THE BOTTLE OF DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE AND POUR IT ALL OVER YOU BODY TO PUT OUT THE FIRE.  DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE REGULARLY SELLS FOR $29.99 A BOTTLE, BUT CALL NOW TO RECEIVE YOUR BOTTLE OF DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE FOR ONLY $19.99.  YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO PASS UP A DEAL LIKE THAT.  BUT ORDER IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES AND YOU’LL RECEIVE DOUBLE THE ORDER.  THAT’S RIGHT, YOU GET TWO BOTTLES OF DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $19.99.  DON’T DELAY, CALL TODAY!

These type of commercials are the reason why the mute button exists.  Actually, I have no idea why the mute button exists.  Regardless, the mute button is still important in shutting up loudmouths on commercials.  Another type of commercial that is very annoying is the prescription drug commercials.  Too many of these commercials are on television.  These commercials convince people that they have diseases like acid reflux, restless leg syndrome, or erectile dysfunction.  An example of a prescription drug commercial is like so:

Are you very hot?  Do you currently feel pain?  Do children run up to you holding marshmallows or hot dogs on the end of a stick?  If you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms, then you are probably on fire.  However, there is treatment for this disease with Firegone.  Firegone is a once-daily pill that can relieve you of you pyro situation.  You should ask your doctor if Firegone is right for you.  Side effects include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, salmonella, bladder cancer, AIDS and/or death.  Women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant should not take Firegone.  So what are you waiting for?  Take Firegone today and start living a cooler life.

Another type of commercial that I find annoying is the car insurance commercial.  What’s with the geckos and cavemen selling car insurance.  Why do cavemen need car insurance anyway?  Cavemen don’t know how to drive.  Oh yeah, I just insulted cavemen.  Any hate mail can be sent here.  Anyway, Here would be an example of a car insurance commercial:

Announcer Dood: Switching to Geico is so easy a man on fire can do it.
Man on Fire: I resent that.  We are people too, ya know
Announcer Dood: Oh, sorry.  Geico: 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.

Now, I don’t find all commercials annoying.  I do like movie trailer.  I especially liked it when the late Don LaFontaine would do a commercial like so:

In a world where people are not pyro inclined, one man gets himself on fire.  The late Jim Varney stars in Ernest is on Fire.  This time, Ernest is not in prison or saving Christmas.  Coming summer 2011.

Finally, I must admit that I do like commercials about video games.  There’s just something about them that I like.  I guess it’s because I like video games.  Anyway, an example of a video game commercial is like so:

Giant Hand: HEY!!! YOU LOOK LIKE A REAL JERK!!!
Dood: Well, I am on fire.
Giant Hand: SO WHATCHA DOIN’?
Dood: Well, I’m picking my order of Dihydrogen Monoxide
Giant Hand: OH NO YOU AIN’T!!!  YOU’RE GONNA PLAY POLE POSITION!!!

Well, I hope you enjoyed this installment of this WordPress doohickey.  Until next time, remember that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.  As if you cared.

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